Long post...what else is new ? ?

So, I realized something. I saw all the memes and women going crazy over the black men in The Black Panther movie...and I was just like “eh, whateva. The movie looks bomb tho”. And I have always been a fan of Michael B Jordan since the wire...so, I was like why am I not going crazy about him?? All the guys were RIPPED in that movie and dressed so nicely but, I wasn’t even excited about them as men...just wanted to see the action packed movie with a majority black cast lace cocktail dresses ?

Then I noticed I stopped being delighted to see a handsome black man. I kinda feel “eh” about them now. I find myself turning my attention away from them as desirable men for me...or desirable in that way.

I don’t know when this happened...I just realized it today ??‍♀️

I used to get irritated when I would hear a black man be all “black love” but, he really wasn’t about it ? now, I expect it. I enjoy their words of promoting the black community or stating things I believe as well but, know not to actually expect anything more than words or hold them to it. I don’t feel any type of way about who they date (however, I will go off on someone if they tryna put a baby down because of their “black features” like Neyo’s baby mama).

I’m built differently and don’t think I “fit” with what they are looking for/desire soooo, Imma just see my way out of that space ?

I am still very much interested in making our community better because we (black ppl) are really treated poorly and have a lot of healing, self discovery, forgiveness, etc...to get through. We have a lot of positive things to offer the world ?